Now Hiring: Workout Companion

As I sit here and nom down on a quart of Chicken Lo Mein, I feel as though I should make this official post looking for a gym buddy to get me back on track and hold me accountable for my gym schedule.

Workout Companion
Company: Amanda Needs To Workout More
Location: Planet Fitness

Job responsibilities:

  • Nag me when I say that I’m too tired to workout
  • Personally come drag me out of bed if necessary
  • Push me to work out harder
  • Show me everything I am doing wrong
  • Show me how to do everything right
  • Drink celebratory wine with me after a workout
  • Other duties as assigned

Requirements:

  • Experience using gym equipment
  • Proven track record of positive results
  • Must have more motivation and determination than I do
  • Enthusiasm for working out

Skills:

  • Persuasiveness
  • Strong negotiator
  • Dependability

If interested, please send your resume and cover letter.

10 Ways to Irritate Someone Who Actually Works Out at the Gym

This week was the start of my gym adventure. I know I said I was going to start a while back but life happened and the gym didn’t. I went Monday, Wednesday and Thursday so far this week and after three workouts all of the reasons I hate the gym  and the people there came flooding back. There are a few things in particular that people do that just irritate me to no end and I am sure there are plenty of people out there that probably feel the same way.

  1. Texting at the gymTexting on a machine. When I go after work there are about 100 people in the gym and never enough machines. If you are going to sit (or lay) there and text, browse Facebook, Snapchat, take selfies or whatever else you are doing on your phone, get off the machine and let someone else actually use it. I usually browse Facebook or text when I am on the treadmill. I am not counting reps and am actively working out. I am usually only on my phone when I am walking to warm up or cool down, but I have about 7 or 8 minutes where my hands are free. Now with my fit band I am also recording workouts, logging any food I missed and checking my stats. However, I am not occupying a machine I am not actively using.

  2. The gym is not a speed dating venue. Both genders are equally to blame for this one. I watch the women lie around on the equipment trying to catch the attention of the guys, flirting, batting the eyes and giggling. I have also been a target for many guys. There are those who need to let me know that they are happy to “spot me” if I want to use the squat rack, those who compliment the results of my leg and glute workouts (implying they enjoy the view from behind), and the people who just don’t understand that headphones mean leave me alone and try to strike up conversation that usually leads to “how about drinks?” I go to the gym to work out and meet my daily goals. If I wanted to chat or flirt (which I don’t) I’d take it outside the gym when I’m not gross and sweaty. Everyone just needs to do their own thing and focus on their workouts. If you want a date go home a swipe through Tinder.

  3. Wipe down your damn machines. I hate the gym because of all the germs I encounter. I can’t get home quick enough to shower because I just feel so nasty touching other people’s sweat. Most people are nice enough to Wipe down gym equipmentat least use the Lysol/Clorox spray after they use the machines. I always do. Then you have the people who sweat all over everything and then walk away. That’s just disgusting. People are kind enough to clean the machine for you, so the least you can do is return the favor. I don’t know if it’s just me but it always seems like the scabbiest and nastiest people are the ones who don’t wipe their sweat germs off the machine too.

  4. Follow the 30 minute circuit rules. If you are the only one there who cares, but if there are other people in the circuit, please stick to the time frames allotted for each machine. Planet Fitness has the red light, green light to help keep you on track so don’t ignore it. When you’re causing a traffic backup behind you that is a problem. If you want to do your own thing and follow your own rules please use the other machines, don’t hit the circuit and try to do things your way and ruin everyone else’s workout.

  5. Your mom is not here to pick up after you. It’s not going to kill you to re-rack your weights after you’re done. I promise. I don’t want to search for the ones I need and I don’t want to be tripping on random weights lying around under my feet. Just put them back. It’s not a hard concept.

  6. Gym not strip clubWear proper fitness attire that fits correctly. I get that some people only have what they have, but I do not want to see your nipples slipping out, flip-flops are not best for the treadmill, pool cover ups are not for working out and swimsuits cannot double as sports bras. I’ve seen all of those things and it’s not attractive and you can run the risk of hurting yourself. I am waiting for the day I see someone in formal wear doing squats, it’s bound to happen with the stupid things I see people wear at the gym. Do yourself and everyone else a favor and wear something acceptable for the gym. Don’t be like this girl become the next meme on the internet.

  7. Know what you are doing. By no means am I a gym expert, but I know how to use the machines properly. Spending 20 minutes just figuring out how to use the machine is annoying. You are unnecessarily taking up extra time on a machine someone else can be using, plus you could really hurt yourself. There are staff members and trainers available to help anyone who needs it. I’ve asked for help plenty of times and encouraged. The staff and other members will appreciate you using the machines correctly, not hurting yourself and moving on.

  8. The selfie fanatics. Great! The rest of the world couldn’t possibly get on with their days without knowing that you are getting your gym grind on. Thank you for updating us with mirror pics of you flexing. Looking good champ.

  9. Freshening up your makeup. Seriously? I can’t tell you how many girls I’ve seen put on a fresh application of lipstick or eye shadow before getting on the treadmill. Those women that are just going to the gym to pick up a man are usually the ones doing this, but every serious person here is breaking a sweat and not looking to crown the next Miss America. I once saw these two girls with so much body glitter I was convinced they just got finished giving lap dances in the back. Why? No one cares what you look like, or at least they shouldn’t.

  10. Take a quick rest, not a nap. Sometimes when the machine I want is in use I will use a different one and switch up my usual routine a bit. Usually I am keeping an eye on the machine, trying hard not to stare the person down and make them feel uncomfortable. What I often see are people who take an obnoxiously long time to rest in between sets. They just sit there and sit there and sit there. My arms are my weakest part so I tend to rest a little more frequently when working on that part of my body, but no longer than 10 seconds each time. I know there are other people waiting and I don’t want to be rude. If only everyone felt the way I do we wouldn’t have half of these problems.

If everyone could just go to the gym, worry about themselves, do what they are supposed to do and leave, the world would be a wonderful place. All I am asking for is for people to be knowledgeable and not rude. If the gym is not your thing then don’t go. It’s that simple.

-AB

Oh hello Planet Fitness…it’s been a while

When I lived in my apartment by myself I became a total gym nut. I went every single day and completed my same routine. I am not a fitness guru by any means, but I dropped some weight, trimmed down and felt good. Once life started to get in the way again and bills were a bit excessive I ended my gym membership. I was pretty bummed because I really enjoyed working out. It was an hour or two all to myself, music in, feeling good. A couple of weeks ago Josh brought up the idea of joining up together. Josh works at our local rock gym, so he’s always felt that was the perfect workout for him. He wasn’t really a fan of the traditional gym and with a free membership to the rock gym he was happy. Recently, he set a goal for himself to build his upper body strength and felt as though that was more easily achievable at a regular gym with free weights. Rock climbing, particularly bouldering, demands a lot of upper body strength which is why Josh wants to get stronger. He enjoys bouldering most of all so to improve his technique and abilities he needs to build his strength. One of the perks of the Planet Fitness black card that Josh also enjoys is the use of the hydro-massage tables. He asked if I wanted to sign up again so I evaluated the finances and decided I could manage the membership fee again.

I am pretty psyched to get back to my workouts. Usually my routine consisted of a mile on the treadmill (3/4 walking on incline and 1/4 running – shin splints aren’t pretty and don’t make for a good running partner), 100 abs, 100 obliques, 100 inner thigh, 100 outer thigh, 100 glutes, 25 biceps, 25 triceps and a good stretch. Clearly you can tell where my strengths are. Hint: it is definitely NOT in my arms. I usually use the machines and avoid any and all free weights. When I went to the gym I was a single girl who went by herself. I attempted the squat rack once and after being hounded by all of the creepy guys offering spots I decided that was the first and last time. I’d like to think they were asking to be nice and to actually help me, but when they also asked to grab drinks on the way out I somehow doubt there was no ulterior motives.

There were multiple occasions where guys were more interested in following me around trying to get a date instead of working out. But it was not just the men, but the women too. They were more interested in looking pretty and flirting than actually working out. Trips to the gym were a great way to get my daily workout AND a laugh watching some of these people who claimed to be focused on their fitness. I am not well versed in the perfect workout and I would never consider myself knowledgeable about a beginner, but I didn’t go to the gym to get dates and flirt with the guys flexing their muscles. Way to give us a bad name ladies.

When Josh stopped by the gym to signup they offered him a Fitbit for $30.My parents wanted to get me the Fitbit last Christmas, but for $150 I didn’t think it was worth it. I go through phases and frequently move on from fads so for $150 I passed, but for $30 I don’t mind. They were out when he signed up, but they will be getting another shipment on Wednesday so we will pick ours up then. The one thing I hate about tracking my eating, sleeping and exercise habits is that I already know I suck so it’s just something else to tell me that.

I am happy to have a membership again and can’t wait to start going back and getting my workout on. I am even happier to go with Josh as he will help me with my workouts and actually give me advice on what I should be doing and how I should be doing it. Is it bad that I am already dreading the New Year’s resolution crowd though?

Well, we will hit the gym tomorrow after doggie training class so we will see how it goes.

-AB